Thursday, April 10, 2008

Truly Tasteless Jokes

Every Monday night I take an endurance cyclefit class. It lasts for 90 minutes and our instructor often calls upon us to tell jokes to help pass the time between intervals. There have been a few drunken Irish/Scottish jokes and husband/wife jokes and I came out with this gem I'd recently heard to share with the group....
"What has 50 legs and 5 teeth?"

"The front row at a Willie Nelson concert"



Yeah it's a groaner, I didn't say I was some kind of superior joke teller, but if they really knew about the first thoughts that popped into my head in the joke arena they would probably have me psycho-analyzed and heartily beaten with a sock full of dung.

Whenever someone says..."Do you know any good jokes?" My mind immediately jumps to my youth and the truly tasteless jokes that we're burned into my brain during the 1970's and 80's.
For Example:
"Why did they cancel the lepers hockey game?"
Punchline "There were too many face-offs in the corners!"

Yeah it's not nice..but don't blame me, I didn't make it up.

Some people are able to rattle off topical jokes at the drop off a hat. Maybe they belong to a water cooler culture? Maybe they practice at home in front of a mirror just in case they are called on to perform.

I can't help it life is cruel and bad jokes are a right of passage so put that in your back pack.
So excuse me if when I'm asked to come up with a joke I immediately think of Helen Keller, Dead Babies and Lepers. I know that giggling at and repeating these jokes will earn me a special place in hell; where I will suffer from horrible facial and physical disfigurements, as well as reduced mental capacity. Don't blame me if life is cruel and bad jokes are a right of passage!
So put that in your backpack haters! WHUH!
And please...if you can remember any other truly tasteless jokes of your generation...be a dear and share them with the other souls of the damned!
B-spot...on the politically incorrect northern front!

2 comments:

Mistër Cleän said...

OK, I got one for ya:

Gynecologist: I can see your nervous, would you like me to numb you down there?
Patient: Yes, thank you doctor...
Gynecologist (putting his head between patient's legs): NUM NUM NUM NUM!


Thank you, thank you... I'll be here all night. Try the veal!!!

Brendage said...

What's that sound?
Oh yeah it's the gates of hell opening for the creator of gyno humour (yeah you heard me...that's humour with a u).