Happy Hood Year (Part the Deuce)

Hey brolleys, I'm fresh from my nap ready to tap that New Year's story anew. New Year's day saw us waking up late to inspect the damage from the night before. Shell casings littered the sidewalk and Southern comfort bottles were smashed up and down the street indicating that Jolene had snuck out after curfew to get his freak on! Corn liquor and shotguns are his "Achilles Heels".
The day brought a festival of eating delicious chicken fingers and watching the outdoor hockey game. We brought slothdom to a whole new level and I love it!
On Wednesday we started our adventures in shopping. I won't bore you with all the gory details I'll just throw out some of the highlights...
After a yummy lunch at Pete's, we thrifted our way through red white and blue, village thrift and goodwill. We did not hit these stores in succession but interspersed them throughout the day. I scored a couple of awesome board games for a couple of bucks a piece and some kick ass pineapple bookends. Y'all know the pineapple is the international symbol of welcome - so these bookends say, "you are welcome to look at my books, but don't touchee!"
Though I love second hand stores in the States I've also formed a deep love affair with the department store chain Kohl's. They have awesome sales year round. Items are usually discounted 60 to 99% off. Okay, maybe 99% is a slight exaggeration but you git ma point boyz! They are also purveyors of Happy Bunny merchandise, that angry bunny that says "let's focus on me!" etc. I also scored a new jog bra...I like to keep the ladies strapped in for the ride! No black eyes in 2008! Kohl's also had some great household items on sale after Christmas, including decorations and candles etc. I love buying Christmas decorations, particularly when they've hit the 80% off range. I really needed a few days to molest Kohl's bargain racks, but you've got to stop yourself for sustenance and hydration. The key is to know your limits. Besides, Jolene and I hit the Kohl's in Watertown on the way home where we got some more Christmas stuff and the Target where we found even more Happy Bunny merchandise, wicked awesome! We finished our shopping extravaganza Wednesday at Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's is an awesome grocery store with some unique food and household products. I stocked up on some appetizers and picked up a few new dips and spreads to try. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for my travel cooler so I can keep things chillin' on the road. Alright the sweet baby Jesus did not buy my cooler it was my parents at an evil timed special sale at Canadian Tire a few years ago just before Christmas - it was a mad house but it was worth the effort!
Back to the tales....
After we packed the wagon up to the eyeballs with our booty we headed to our favourite Chinese restaurant. Chrispy knows which one. The food is reasonable and everything is mighty tasty. We gorged, hungry from the days escapades and still had leftovers! No visit to the Chinese restaurant would be complete without tapping the dollar store next door. That's where I found my new fav toque. It says "No Stress" and I plan on living the words for 2008! We ended up closing that place down! We headed home full of food, the car weighted down with goods and the knowledge that two bathrooms were waiting for us should we have any gastrointestinal issues. It was wickedly cold in the hood. I wasn't mentally ready for that, I'm use to the frozen tundra but there was a bitter cold wind blowing through the streets that chilled me to the bone. I couldn't wait to curl up on the couch with a cat of my choosing and settle in for a night of TV viewing.
On Thursday Glenda had to return to work for a day so the Chrisp and I went to the Jackson Outlets to hit a couple of stores. I was in dire need of some underoos so we tapped the Jockey outlet for some butt covers. We also found Abominable snow monster bracelets at Claires...watch my wrist for that one next Christmas. It was great to have some one on one with the Chrisp. Having boys around can be so limiting when you just want to be chics. They're so sensitive and demanding....geesh! Sadly our "alone time" had to end and we headed home to make sure that Jolene was fed and watered.
Thursday evening we headed out to see Chrisps sister Jenny and her family so that we could check out Sam's Club, the box store associated with Wal-Mart. Along the way we had to get some grub so we could maintain our stamina, we stopped at that mecca of grease and goodness White Castle. We macked down on sliders and fries, washing it all down with a regular sized pop. They call them sliders because there is no chewing involved...they just slide down your throat...mmm slippery, like an eel on a bun! We arrived at Jenny's after our feast and piled into the family truckster. Jenny has 5 kids so a compact car is out of the question. We were riding in style, the airport extend-a-van whisked us to Sam's Club which is a Costco style operation...this particular one actually sold BOOZE! Yippee! I love's me some booze! Jolene and I picked up some beer to take back and a couple of bottles of wine. I also scored some long underwear for running on those crisp winter days. On the way to Sam's Club we had our own seats in the van on the way home we had to share because the seats were filled with goods - bummer - but we got through it! We headed back to the family ranch to spend a few moments with the kidlets before heading back to the warm embrace of the hood for another TV viewing fiesta. We'd been burning our way throw Season One of 30 Rock. If you haven's seen it and you have a sense of humour and a brain check it out homeschool! It's tres bon!
I spent some time rappin' with Chrispy's 6 year old nephew Aaron about the virtues of photography and Napoleon Dynamite. We took a picture of each other taking a picture of each other. You can read more about Aaron's photographic exploits at Trenonkat.
We said our good-byes and climbed into the wagon with its cold leather seats to journey back to spend our last night (this go round) in the hood.
Glenda would be leaving us early in the morning to engage in a full on man weekend in upper New York State so we said our tearful good-byes, sent him to bed and continued our 30 Rock Marathon.
No trip to the hood would be complete without consuming some awesome pizza at DiLorenzo's. Which is just a short jaunt from chez Chrisp & Glenda. We were going to meet Mr. Clean of Bald, Fat & Angry blog fame.
I was no longer chattering from the wind that had been burrowing into my soul. The Americans were still moanin' about the weather but as far as I was concerned it was tropical.
Anywhore...we started our stroll to the pizzeria, the air was fresh and delightful, the sun was shining and there would be pizza. What more could you want? Well totally unexpected I came upon some street art in front of one of the neighbourhood houses. Where there was once fresh, wet cement there was now some very profound words to live by.
Now I've heard of "bro's before ho's" and "don't hate the playa, hate the game" but this tidbit of wisdom was new to me.
"Money over Bitches." I had to risk gettin' a cap in the ass to squeeze off a few shots of this rare hood gem. I was pretty impressed. Everything was spelled correctly and the block printing was pretty decent for this particular medium. Kudos to the author, you're defacing public property but you still have the patience and steady hand to scribe this missive. You have inspired me to adopt a new philosophy for the new year "In 2008 bitches can wait!" The almighty dollar will be my dirty little mistress for the next twelve months. Thank you for setting me free! With my belly full of pizza and the hood soon to be a memory I was reminded to pray for Fishsticks freedom! I say write to your senator not in the pavement if you want your voice to be heard! And don't forget the tartar sauce...WHUH!