PT Loser

Alright the Dove has been on a brief hiatus, only coming out to drop some serious deuces on the knucklehead population. Hard to believe the Dove has slept through the Canadian election...yes the dirty ol' boys club did regain power...with a greater majority than last time ...yipes! That hurts my mind grapes.

Right now the weather in Canada is a little up and down. Last week we were sweating our baggage off and the leaves were changing colour. This week hurricane like winds are ripping the leaves from the trees and depositing them willy nilly. The temperature is dipping near the freezing mark and I'm forced to wear socks. It just ain't right!
But you gotta take the crunchy with the smooth so like all good Canadians I take it all in stride.

Most mornings when I get up my car is covered in a dewy film that is every so close to frost and I need to use the defroster and turn the heat on to keep a full body chatter from gripping me.
By the end of the work day It's a little stuffy and hot in the old mobile and I crank the fan and put down the window.
Today was no exception. As I drove into the blinding sun on one of our main streets (Lansdowne) I opened the windows in the front of the car to blow the stink off. The warmth of the sun accompanied by the gentle breeze was simply divine. Until I was assaulted by some dumb ass noise pollution.
Lansdowne Street is four lanes wide (two going east and two going west). I was stopped in a line of traffic waiting for a light when I heard the voices of a disgruntled, entitled, douchie youth spewing from a maroon PT Cruiser.
First I heard this nasty phlegmy cough and I was intrigued so I couldn't tune out the tirade of stupidity that followed. I figured this little douchewad was going to hack up a lung. When he finished spewing lung butter he started spewing bullshite! What follows is a reasonable facsimile of what he said to his friend who was driving;

Douchewad 1: Insert sounds of lung rattle and mung production...."Yeah, so I thought fuck that! I'm not going to class today. I had a fuckin' rough night and they can suck it!"

Douchewad #2: "Um, humh."

Douchewad#1: "Yeah, so I smoked a blunt and I went back to bed!"

Douchewad#2: "Yup."

That's pretty much all I got because the light changed and we all know that Pt Cruisers are super fast! And I thought I wasn't going to hear anything good today...well pickle my giblets and call me Nancy!

So I have packed the Dove full of rotting Thanksgiving leftovers (Yes we have Thanksgiving in October so cram it!) and sent it on a quest for a maroon PT Cruiser containing 2 lads wearing baseball hats backwards, spewing bullshit and smokin' blunt! After the Dove gets its share an unholy torrent of deuce will be unleashed on these posers! We'll see who skips class tomorrow! Whuh!

B-spot out!