Well folks it's another beautiful summer day in Peterborough, Ontario and I'm ready to unfurl a massive Dove of Hate!
For those of you not familiar with Peterborough (a.k.a. the patch) we're known for a couple of things. Recently we made headlines when Stats. Canada released information regarding which cities contained the largest concentration of senior citizens. We're number 2! 18.2% of Peterboroughs population is over 65. Kelowna B.C. weighs in at number one with 19%. We were sooooo close to being number 1!
They other thing we are known for is the Peterborough Liftlocks or Lock 21 as we know it locally. It is the highest hydraulic liftlock in the world. Let's face it, that's pretty cool! The picture above was taken from the top of our Liftlock.
Peterborough benefits from the tourism aspects of the Trent canal system and local tourist boats that take visitors up and down the liftlocks.
This morning my boyfriend, Jolene, his daughter, Jimmy-jack (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) and I were going to take his houseboat up the Trent Canal to Buckhorn before it goes into drydock for the summer.
We planned every detail. I laid in food and other necessities, we were gonna hammer through in one day so we were up to the challenge and ready to rock!
We were on the boat by 8:15am and heading for lock 19 by 8:30am when the locks would open for the day. As we chugged up to tie up below lock 19 a couple who were on a rental houseboat informed us that the Liftlock was closed. Apparently it has been closed since yesterday afternoon, maintenance workers are realigning the main cyclinders. The hope is that it will be up and running by tomorrow.
Okay, I'm not going to release the Dove of Hate on the workers or the fact that the Liftlock is closed. I certainly don't want to take a ride up the river in a giant bucket full of water if it's not calibrated properly. I want it functioning well for the safety of all involved.
The Dove of Hate is for the local media, city hall, Parks Canada and whoever else is asleep at the wheel! There has been no news coverage or alerts regarding the current status of the Liftlock and the progress of the work. I checked the Peterborough Examiner online in the morning and there was no news alert that the Locks were not functioning.
When Letdown Place (Lansdowne place - a local mall) was closed due to an industrial accident there was a newsflash on the Examiner website. Today there's a flash about local councillor Dean Pappas' family vacationing in Greece, apparently they've escaped fires that are occuring in Greece. I'm glad they're safe and I hope all those affected are safe and the damage is minimal, but come on! How about checking out the local scene and keeping your people informed?
Maybe I need to stress how Peterborough is known for it's Liftlock. If you stop any Peterboroughtonian on the street and ask them what we're known for they would most likely say The Liftlocks. They might say old people and posers, but most likely they would reference the Liftlocks in some way.
I'm going to release my Dove of Hate for all of those who are waiting patiently at local marina's or tethered up and down the lock system awaiting the re-opening of our beloved Liftlock. God bless you all!
Let the Dove fly and foul the air!
First Mate B signing off!

Proper Channels

I've gotta release a flock of doves on the corrupt people in authority! I work in the education industry and I've been willfully seeking fulltime employment in my chosen field for approximately 5 years now. I have worked hard, upgraded my skills and sadly kissed some unsavoury ass to no avail. I decided on a new tact this past spring. Tell it like it is! You ask me a question, I'll give you an honest answer. This does not seem to be getting me full time employment but it's great for cleansing your soul and getting a good nights sleep.
I have sat back and watched numerous individuals, who have little or no talent, receive jobs based on who they know and who they are related to in local school boards. I'm not naive. I know how the working world works. I'm at peace with it. However, I just got a call from a friend, who has also been seeking full-time employment for a long freakin' time, she called HR about a particular job and was told that she would have to follow protocol to apply for it.
Okay deuce are you talking about the proper channels in place through the boards collective agreement or are you talking about the grapevine? Cause from my experience it's the latter that gets you hired in this nepotistic borough.
I personally don't come from a family of educators so I don't have numerous relatives and friends of relatives who will pull the necessary strings to get me hired.
I believe in old fashioned hard work and being properly trained, qualified and prepared to complete a job. It's funny but I know I should be releasing a mega dove of hate on these pathetic simpletons but I just don't think they're even worth my virtual angst. So put that in your backpacks you pencil pushing, mouth breathing, protocol twisting, pant suit wearing feebs!
Sebastian the bear (pictured above) is tired of their bullshit too!
B-spot out!

Dove of Hate Volume 1

Welcome fellow haters! You have stumbled upon the Dove of Hate what is the Dove of Hate? The dove is a virtual anger management tool that I want to share with the world. Sure you've heard of the power of The secret and counting to 10 but bro's and ho's the power of the dove is all 'bout you harnessing your anger, your hate, your misplaced aggression and rolling it all into one simple fluttering ball of angst and releasing it on the world. My fellow blogger and sis inlaw can describe it more eloquently than I can in her blog... http://trentonkat.blogspot.com/.

So what's a hater to do?

According to B, my Canadian sister-in-law, we need to take a deep breath and stop thinking about the self-serving, egomaniacal, lawsuit-happy politicians as well as the self-centered, short-sighted, self-destructive knuckleheads in this city, and instead think about how our own anger and disillusionment are adversely affecting our lives. We must envision our negative emotions as a small, football-sized object, in our hands, tangible. We must hold that imaginary parcel in our hands and see it as "The Dove of Hate." Hold the Dove of Hate for a moment with respect. Understand what it is, what makes it. Raise it to chest level. And release, palms up to the heavens, eventually allowing your arms to gently fall to your sides. You have released the Dove of Hate; now watch it fly away!

In her blog Chrissy is making some reference to beautiful and dysfunctional Trenton New Jersey where I spend the bulk of my holiday time. Chrissy married my bro Glen and we've been reeking havoc ever since!
Now the Dove of Hate can be used in most any situation, don't just reserve it for political angst and knuckleheads of the garden variety. Spray it's angry filth all over your friends and neighbours as needed. You'll be amazed at the feelings of calm and peace that overcome you after you've released you're fake, fowl/foul friend into the atmosphere.

Don't take my word for it! Give it a try!
Till next time...Brendage out!